Tullibardine 500

Tullibardine 500 1

(Thanks to /u/usquebaugh_ for the dram)

Gather round, whisky swiggers and jiggers, for I have a story to tell. A simple story for two denari, of times before in the whisky network.

Scoff all you want good sir, but yes, there was a time when this network was smaller, without fools telling stories like a bard in order to spice up reviews.

During this dark time, we had quarterly requests, of which people would gather round and request others review specific whiskies. The requests cropped up, yet we were few, and they were many. Months went by, and the requests were given up, due to… well, no one being able to review that many rare whiskies.

However, the list lived on. Some say in our hearts. Others in each dram we review. Still others say in the hum of the glencairn glass when bumped..

I say more so in an online Spreadsheet I kept for awhile. Until I deleted it. Seriously, it was big.

None the less, one of those lost requests rings true: Any Scotch starting with T that isn’t Tobermory or Tomatin or Tomintoul.

So today, I fulfill that age old request, from someone I can’t find or remember, that may be made up in my addled, addled mind. And I tell the tale for you of Tullibardine 500.

Tullibardine rests at the gateway to the Highlands, guarding against… Lowlanders, I guess. Starting as a brewery, it goes back to time before time, or for you non-new Worlders, 1503. Distilling didn’t come until time was righted again, in 1947.

The name means ‘lookout hill’, which was probably a warning yelled to drunk people who are running around.

Tullibardine 500, they say, comes from the trees from the distant and violent south, and then are finished in the less profitable yet safer Sherry casks of old, for nary more than a year to finish them up.

Now you shall learn how this one tastes.

Tullibardine 500 2

Price: $79.95 (CAD) at the LCBO

Region: Highland

Abv: 43%

Colour: Orange-Gold-Brown

Three hues about in this lighter dram. I do not know if it’s coloured or not, yet it’s light.

Nose: Strawberry, ginger, clove, orange peel, caramel, honey, anise

Spring notes and spices are about, shielding me from the cold winter’s touch. Some spice comes out.

Yet this one is quite weak, and the cold continues to come in. So I turn up the electric heat. Because seriously, it’s motherhumping cold.

Taste: Currant, clove, nutmeg, rosemary, toffee, cereal

Sprises and spring berry are evident, yet the watered down notes and cereal taste aren’t as pleasant.

Still weak, I set part of the apartment on fire to heat myself up. And otherwise give myself something interesting to pontificate about, because seriously… this dram’s not that interesting.

Finish: Sulphur, nutmeg, cherry, lemon peel, dates

A blast from the devil himself knocks me out of my stupor, and what could be a boring yet passable dram becomes that of a sour, icky tasting one.

Seriously, I am normally pretty good about Sulphur flavours in my whisky, but damn, this has too much.

Conclusion: To Conclude, or to play on? I assume I’ll have to conclude, because… I have other shit to do.

This whisky is a performance without oomph, a dubstep song without the beat dropping, and a beat poet without a meandering ending that comes too quick. It has a nice nose, a gentle taste (much too gentle for me) and a finish that needs better casks. All in all it’s not undrinkable, and I’d even say others may enjoy it, but for me, it’s a pass.

71/100

Scotch review #237, Highland review #40, Whisky Network review #362

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